And I feel like I'm juggling.
I feel like I'm changing. And I'm not sure if it is going to be for the bad, or the good. And I really, really feel like I'm losing myself. I don't know me so well anymore.

is there a hole in your heart?

Author: Shexpeare /

I think I lied to myself a little. But, because I wanted to believe it... I didn't have to say it too much. It wasn't just in my head, but my heart heard it too. I just refused to believe that things changed. In a way I'm right. They didn't change. It has always been this way, sorta. And all my buddies know that I'm being depressive lately. But they don't understand this little hole eating away at my heart. It is worse than my outside emo... ness. In fact, it hides underneath all that. Because that is fixable. We can talk about that. We can't talk about this little hole. Because I refuse to believe there is a little crack in something. I refuse to believe somethings... somethings just SHOULDNT be allowed to change.

Ellesse knows about this little hole. She puts her thumb over it a lot, and tells me that I shouldn't worry. The blood will dry and it will fix itself before my heart pours out and it is all gone. That doesn't happen she says. She lets her thumb up, and in my brain I believe her. It will fix itself. But I dunno man, it is pouring out pretty quick. And everytime I have to acknowledge that, yeah... things are really never going to go back- that hole tears a little more.
I won't die. I'm alive. But it is holes like that, that make me grow older in ways I don't want to.

The Spirit

Author: Shexpeare /

The good news: Scarlett Johansson is pretty cool. She dresses REALLY thug, and all of her clothes reminded me of Kaitlin. She was a major hottie. In fact, Kaitlin, you should watch this movie just so you can see her awesome coat that reminded me of you. Scarlett was the only one to pull off... this melodramatic style of acting that WORKED for Sin City but did not work for.... well.... Everyone else just seemed kinda like bad actors. Her character was neat.
It had a few really cool moments.
It was VERY pretty- I mean, Sin City was really pretty. There was even Clives. (Chucks) Black ones though.
I like his costume. I'm going to have to copy it. I want one. Sarah Paulson is a favorite from Studio 60.

The very bad news: It uhhh... wasn't good. I mean, it just... wasn't good. Especially compared to Sin City and 300. NOT. GOOD.
Samuel L. Jackson. 'Nuff said.

Umm, Voice Work for Best Characters Ever? Yes Please.

Author: Shexpeare /

I wish I did the voices for video games.
Everytime I pick up a new game that I absolutely adore, I find out that some really cool actress does the voice of yet another character I love. First you can check out Jen Taylor, who does the voices of these awesome characters: Obviously she does the voice of the girl in the middle, Zoey. Zombie Killing Expert.
Princess Toadstool. Peach. Mario, Congrats, you just saved the princess.

Cortana. How many times have Hye Soo and I saved her? *Sigh* I love Halo 3.


Yeah. AWESOME.
Then there is Jennifer Hale. Who I love even more.... she does the voice of Bastila- who is one of my favorite Jedi... Ever. In my favorite video game of all time. Samus- one of my favorite nintendo characters, and my super smash brothers favorite. And also Commander Shepard. Jennifer Hale probably wins as my favorite voice actress. She really is brilliant. Besides my favorite three, she has done voices for so many things and she sounds SO different everytime. The woman is versatile.

A jedi with an incredible Journey. Love that british accent. Haha.Just look at the cool costume. Need I say more?

Just look at the cool costume. Need I say more?... the one on the RIGHT punks. Saves the universe. Has sex with aliens. HAHAHAH Best game ever.

And then there is Dana Delany. She plays Katherine Mayfair on Desperate Housewives. We all love her, and she does the voice of Lois Lane on countless superman/batman cartoons. *Sigh* All of the above would be my dream job.

I fell.

the world opens up and swallows them

Author: Shexpeare /

American Psycho: Yeah. I'm fairly certain I didn't like this movie. I dunno. But sometimes I like the things Patrick Bateman says. I know, thats sick.

"There is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.

I know my behavior can be... erratic sometimes.

Even after admitting this there is no catharsis, My punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing. "

Salt Lake Buddies!

Author: Shexpeare /




Drinking hot chocolate at a cafe... reading a play outloud... liz's christmas party.. temple square. Yeah. I had a nice time in Salt Lake. It was just really happy. And I love my little school family. It was really relaxing, and so HAPPY to see some of the buddies.
I really really love Left 4 Dead. It is my favorite new game. Zoey is a freaking awesome zombie hunter.

they deserve better, or I deserve better, or somebody deserves something

Author: Shexpeare /

Kaitlin just gave me a play journal.. which she made for me.
It IS AMAZING. Seriously, what a freaking awesome present. She even mentioned me telling my own bedtime stories one day. *sigh* I only hope they can be half as good as Ellesse's.... maybe if I go to LOn-DON.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh. Journal of awesominity.
Kaitlin and I are having a sleepover of greatness. I had an amazing fancy dinner with really good cake next to the fire. Its very christmasy here.
Cathy is brave in the face of dragons. Big scary dragons... fire breathing trogdors.
I gave in, and read that partial draft of Midnight Sun (you know that uhhh Edward-point-of-view-twilight-never-to-be-finished-thingie.) Yeah. I feel REALLY dorky. But it was fun- so sue me.
I found my macbeth audition monologue. And I'm memorized for Closer. And I found six other new monologues too. Productive suckas!
This volume of heroes is over, and people I really liked are "dead" or dead, I'm not sure. So I'm bugged. This season of Desperate Housewives is rockin', and Grey's is great... and the Office, though I miss watching all of them with Cathy. It isn't the same man. It isn't the same.
I love my two new scarfs.
I forgot, but once upon a time Megan Simkins and I bought panties and then went and saw John Tucker Must Die. That was a really fun day. Hahaha. I just remembered that happened. Yup.
Being in orem without Cacky is weird. Not to mention.... I miss the buddies. Well obviously. But something about it just doesn't feel quite right at this moment. Maybe its me. I've changed or- something has changed.
I have done quite a lot this semester. Made progress.... taken a few horrible steps backwards emotionally, but quite a few forwards... artistically. I hope next semester to take more steps forward. I just don't understand sometimes. Most things are going okay- great even. But there is a void where this person I really like should be. And that void kinda makes everything else... void. Hah. See what I did there?

books are good, absent plane tickets are not

Author: Shexpeare /

I love the bookstore. I have sat in Barnes and Noble and read three days in a row now. I got myself a drink, and read a bunch of plays. It feels a lot like home. I love it.
Cathy would be home today. Its 1:41 a.m. Cathy would be home today. I probably would not have been able to sleep because of the excitement. Instead I can't sleep because today feels a little like a tragedy.

haiku the sooki of all hyesookis makes me happy

Author: Shexpeare /

AND I QUOTE!: "I love all my "buddies" as Tasha calls them. They really are all my "buddies". I used to hate that word. haha. I used it as a bad word when I drove around town. I'd yell it at bad drivers, like "hey move it buddy!" But now here in Cedar it's a good word and I've started using it more because it means a lot to Tasha and I'm glad I'm her buddy. "

YAY! I LOVE YOU ROOMIE! Sorry, I know it is lame to repost- but YAY!!!!!! I just wanted everyone to see how yay this was. I love the buddies too. My shiny little rocks. Uhh... I mean, my buddies. Yes.

I was productive today.

Author: Shexpeare /

Sometimes this happens when I'm writing, but mostly when I'm texting- some stupid word I should know how to spell.... it just... it just... escapes me. What the hell? Hahahahah. No. I don't want to talk about what word it is. It was a pathetic one. I feel stupid.

Oh! And since I'm "Shexpeare" on Xbox live... I keep getting my brothers friends saying things like "YAH! Shakespeare killed five guys with one gernade!" and I keep thinking "Wow, what a twist to the end of hamlet."

It made my night, imagining Shakespeare killing zombies and such. Oh yes. What a great world we would live in....

I found five new monologues, a play that we should read on a rainy sunday (outloud, together, cuz there is 1 boy and 5 girls. Hmmm, was it made for us or what?), I read a few plays, exercised and memorized. I'm now going to go kill "boomers" and "wretches" on Gears of War 2. I'd say that is productive.

Annnnnd Tasha is back to being a good ol' asian ball of happiness.

Author: Shexpeare /

Best friend for spring break?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Could I BE anymore happy?
The answer is no. No one could be more happy than me in this moment. Happiness! THE JOY! Oh the joy. The happiness. The smiling.
Its been far too long... master kenobi! (Ugh, sorry. Star wars quote.) It has been far too long ... since I saw my besty. Now- I remember once upon a time there was this awesome thing that happened in my drive way. We reunited once. (okay, duh, like after a few weeks) It was really happy.
This is so much bigger than that. This is that moment times a million. THE JOOOOOOOOY!
There are no words. Uhhh. Okay okay- here is one.

FROLIC.

All I could do was love you hard, and let you go.

Author: Shexpeare /









Closer

Author: Shexpeare /

I was reading my blog, out of boredom, and curiosity... I have an interesting relationship with Closer. The first time I saw it was with Kristi and I came out wondering "Why?". I loved the acting, and the dialogue, and a lot of things about it. But I just didn't understand why I wasted two hours of my life with such flawed people. Unredeemable people- thats how it seemed anyway. But I couldn't stop thinking about it, and months later I said "Wow, I need to see it again." I did. And I did. Again. And Again, and... again. And now its my favorite movie. My favorite play. I've done scenes from it four different times. (Although, twice with Cathy. We revived the same scene a year later.) Many monologues. It somehow became my dream role- playing Alice.

And now I get to play her. In two months I will be playing Alice. That thought kinda boggles my mind. I don't think I'll ever get a chance to play her again, so basically this is it. I'm so excited. I can't fathom it sometimes. I'm actually going to be in Closer, with a really, really great cast and a brilliant director. I'm really lucky. Happy. And just a little scared. Great cast, Great Director, it would be hard for me to screw up. But I want to play Alice SO MUCH!! And now I get to and if its not good... well I shouldn't be thinking that.

I'm so passionate about it, and surrounded by ridiculously talented people- It has to be good. That is all there is to it.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"This is the moment of your life."

There was this huge chunk when I first came to Cedar when I didn't blog. I think it might be because I don't blog when I'm happy. I try to! But its so much easier to blog when I'm not.

"Most people don't like talking to random crazy army people in carts."

Author: Shexpeare /

I've never been to a funeral.
I only have one live grandparent- so that is a little strange. I blame distance.
Today I finally organized my room, before it was a big pile of bags and now its not. Its still really cluttered, but I can walk into my room without stepping on star wars action figures or blow dryers. I decided that besides the creepy bat vents and the smell of the bathroom, the ave is not so bad. I've already made a few memories there, and that has made it feel a little more like a home... and not just a smelly place where my T.V. looks huge because of the unique living room.
I've always wanted to be a superhero. That is all.
Lately I've been really emo. This huge emotional bag of extremities. I can't just love something, it has to be this HUGE love that no one else has ever experienced. I can't just hate something, I must send it straight to hell. And I can't just feel sad, I have to die.
EMO. Eww.
... I even like shopping at Hot Topic.
"I don't want to talk to him! I'm so emo. He can't handle my wrath."
"We should make this into a play." Apparently Meggan and I walking through Wal-Mart is play worthy. I'll give her this: I was wearing an army hat and hugging a red pillow like my life depended on it. And we were given looks- looks that I suppose were play worthy.
I can't feel calm. Jedi=Peace. I=Geek who searches for peace in ice cream but only becomes hyper enough to have an emotional break down.
I decided I'm going to be productive this Christmas break. Superhero like, and I'm going to get (in Meggan voice) CLOSER.

How Anatasha- the Halvsie, Was killed by a smelly ox.

Author: Shexpeare /

Liz thinks she has beautiful friends....one of whom is sitting right in front of her. 3:07pm
- 54 Comments

Anatasha Blakely at 3:12pm December 10
Thanks

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:12pm December 10
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THAT'S ME!NO ANATASHA, ME! I'M THE ONE SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:12pm December 10
IT'S ME!

Anatasha Blakely at 3:12pm December 10
I know you were talking about me. And not some smelly person.

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:12pm December 10
IT'S ME!

Anatasha Blakely at 3:12pm December 10
excuse me. bitch.

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:12pm December 10
IT'S ME!

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:12pm December 10
SHUT UP TASHA! DON'T FACEBOOK SWEAR!

Anatasha Blakely at 3:13pm December 10
Liz. Answer. Who are you talking about?

Anatasha Blakely at 3:13pm December 10
I didnt facebook swore, I SWORE. Whore.

Anatasha Blakely at 3:13pm December 10
Oh, and she is talking about ME. You look like poo.

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:13pm December 10
IT'S ME!IT'S ME!SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT ME you halvsie HE-SHE!

Anatasha Blakely at 3:14pm December 10
HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT UP!!I MAY BE A HALVSIE, but i'm no HE SHE! you smelly ox!

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:14pm December 10
I'm listening to 'feed the world' from Band-aid and I'm not feeling any happy feelings, STOP LYING YOU WHORE! SHE MEANS ME!

Liz Pascoe at 3:14pm December 10
.................my friends may be beautiful, but they are so angry too

Liz Pascoe at 3:14pm December 10
bitter, silly friends, awe how i love them

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:15pm December 10
HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE! HALVSIE!

Liz Pascoe at 3:15pm December 10
fight for my love

Liz Pascoe at 3:15pm December 10
FIGHT

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:15pm December 10
k. choosing to be the bigger person here. I'm leaving

Anatasha Blakely at 3:15pm December 10
OH. My.GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:15pm December 10
LOVE YOU LIZ! Thanks for calling me beautiful...."feed the world!"

Liz Pascoe at 3:15pm December 10
this might be the most epic status comment battle ever

Anatasha Blakely at 3:15pm December 10
dont leave me here you dirty slut! FINISH THIS.Liz loves ME. Shes had your friendship, shes bored, she loves me more now.

Anatasha Blakely at 3:16pm December 10
I'm the beautiful one.Obviously.Right liz?

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:16pm December 10
SHE IS NOT BORED WITH ME! SHUT UP (*hits tasha)

Anatasha Blakely at 3:16pm December 10
BORED BORED BORED

Anatasha Blakely at 3:16pm December 10
okay. you actually hit me. that hurt.. a little.. mostly my feelings.SHUN!

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:17pm December 10
I'm leaving this.

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:17pm December 10
love you too liz. tanks

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:17pm December 10
... ...

Anatasha Blakely at 3:17pm December 10
Liz, if you ever loved me.. you will insult ellesse right now.She hit me.She deserves it.And she smells.

Liz Pascoe at 3:17pm December 10
can't we all just get along

Anatasha Blakely at 3:17pm December 10
Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells ... Read More Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse sm

Anatasha Blakely at 3:17pm December 10
Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells ...Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse sm

Anatasha Blakely at 3:17pm December 10
Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells ... Read MoreEllesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse sm

Anatasha Blakely at 3:18pm December 10
Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells ... Read MoreEllesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse sm

Liz Pascoe at 3:18pm December 10
i'm gald we are all able to handle this like mature adults

Anatasha Blakely at 3:18pm December 10
Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells ... Read MoreEllesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse sm

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:18pm December 10
STOP IT!

Anatasha Blakely at 3:18pm December 10
ELLESSE SMELLS!Well you get it now.OUCH OUCH OUCH, stopping hitting me jerk.

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:18pm December 10
MOM! LIZ!

Anatasha Blakely at 3:18pm December 10
Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells ... Read MoreEllesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse sm

Anatasha Blakely at 3:18pm December 10
make me

Anatasha Blakely at 3:18pm December 10
Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells ... Read More Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells

Liz Pascoe at 3:18pm December 10
38 comments?.....really? we're sick

Anatasha Blakely at 3:18pm December 10
Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse smells Ellesse Smells

Anatasha Blakely at 3:19pm December 10
sick of that smell

Anatasha Blakely at 3:19pm December 10
I AM NOT

Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:19pm December 10
TASHI'S A HALVSIE! TASHI'S A HALVSIE! TASHI'S A HALVSIE! TASHI'S A HALVSIE! TASHI'S A HALVSIE! TASHI'S A HALVSIE! TASHI'S A HALVSIE! TASHI'S A HALVSIE! TASHI'S A HALVSIE! TASHI'S A HALVSIE!

Anatasha Blakely at 3:19pm December 10
But you still called me Tashi, which I think is a term of endearment.

Anatasha Blakely at 3:20pm December 10
Fine. Ellesse is the beautiful one. I'm going to go kill myself now.*picks up gun*Yeah, ellesse has... pretty eyes *cries* and i'm just... *sobs* an ugly halvsie.*Shoots self*

Liz Pascoe at 3:20pm December 10
i'll just leave you two to figure this one out

Anatasha Blakely at 3:20pm December 10
*is dead*


Ellesse Hargreaves at 3:22pm December 10
bye liz. love you too, don't worry, we know who that was really for....me






No one loves a halvsie.

This one brief day, forget! Medea forgets the good things, I'll forget the bad.

Author: Shexpeare /

Moving into the ave has been... interesting. At least I didn't find bats in the tub. That was next door.

I'm really going to miss our old apartment. I LOVED it so much. And the couches, oh the couches were wonderful. I feel like I'm leaving behind my soul. Its still home. Haha. This week has been interesting. Killing Left 4 Dead zombies with Durant was awesome, and snow, and miracles. Love. All that. I'm still super emo. :)

One thing makes me smile. This huge mountain I'm climbing. I'm actually... I'm actually doing it. I've never done it before. Its a reality. Not some far off wish- I'm HERE. Cathy said she was proud of me. Thank goodness I've had her around, who knows where I would be without her. Its amazing to me... I was reading some older entries and its taken me THIS LONG. (Sometimes reading it makes me think I haven't changed a bit.) This whole blog, and LONGER to finally climb out of this huge ditch I was in. And I still haven't gotten all the way out. I was always saying "I can, I can, Today. TODAY I CAN." Today took eight years. Before I was raising my hand and slipping before I even climbed an inch. And now I'm on my way up. But its scary, because if I fall it will hurt a lot more, and... I'm afraid Satan is going to attack me now. Really hard. He is just going to pop out of nowhere and stab me in the back.

I'm waiting.

....

...

Good thing I have my lightsaber. I'm not going to screw it up. For once... I've actually arrived in this place that seemed so distant. I'm HERE.

A Christmas Miracle

Author: Shexpeare /

I had the best Christmas Eve. We did a gift exchange, and decided to have a sleep over and open them in the morning! Our own personal Christmas. A little early yes, but the spirit was there. But, instead of what I was expecting- movies, candy and much hyperness.... I got... something so much more than that.


Lets see. I've never felt so much love in my life. Coming out of me, and to me. It was ridiculously happy. A Christmas miracle if you will.
We went around in a circle and told each person something we loved about them. Hye Soo went first, Ellesse second... and by the time we got to the end of her we were all crying. And it sort of went like that for the rest of the night.
The rest of the night. We stayed up all night explaining to each other why we loved one another.
It has never felt more like Christmas. I do have one thing I would like to complain about- Cathy wasn't there. But I think she knows just how much I love her. So theres that. Anyway, it was one of the happiest nights I've had in a long time, and something we all needed. It was beautiful. Not to mention I enjoyed the little crevice I found by Jen's stairs.
I love you all so much. But I think you know that now... if you didn't before.
I think its interesting how telling each other we love one another resulted in hearing many testimonies of our savior. Somehow... somehow we couldn't explain our love without mentioning God.

You don't know the meaning of the word miss.

My mom just told me that my "alarm clock is in hawaii."
...
..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Funny because, it is true.

Acting II: The Art of Seduction with Richard Bugg.

Author: Shexpeare /

This has been one interesting semester. One of the happiest, and one of the saddest. In fact, its such a ridiculous roller coaster that all the happiness and sadness almost cancel each other out so I'm just. Neutral. Or weird or something.

I'm going to miss my acting class. I love acting II with Bugg. I seriously do. And everyone in that class has had really cool break throughs, and its just been awesome. Plus, we always attack the board with Ellesse Smells. Its been great.
*Sigh*
Well. I'll miss you.
Acting II: The Art of Seduction with Richard Bugg.