Thanksgiving. Well, its gonna be long this year.

Author: Shexpeare /

My annual things I'm thankful for on thanksgiving blog! Aww yeah!

  • Jenny Whipple. Someone who can always, always make me laugh, smile, and act like an idiot. No matter how bad of a mood I'm in Jen can make me dance weirdly with my arms and do freaky voices. Whether its her telling me a joke, or laughing at my stupid antics (Poopity Poo)... doesn't matter. She always makes me feel better. Plus, she is a hiding place from people who invade my apartment. (Which includes no one on this list by the way.) Jen also comes with a great christmas morning space, a cute smile and a crazy awesome boyfriend. $99.99....uhhh I mean she isn't for sale.
  • Speaking of Jen's boyfriend, Rhett GUTER!!!! Believe it or not Rhett is actually a huge inspiration to me. There have been several times when we have talked about acting over the years and everytime I talk to him I find myself with a really grand desire to WORK HARDER. I went from hardly any work, to working my butt off. And its all because I watched him work his bubble butt off until he literally spontaneously combusted. Jen put him back together. I hope to spontaneously combust one day too. I might be too lazy for that... well.. I AM too lazy for that. But Rhett has made me a little less lazy everytime I see him. Hope we can act together more.
  • Trevor and Chloe. There aren't many words. I appreciate them, their humor, and seeing them makes me really happy. Four star bitch sucka what!
  • Kristen. My little wisp. Always there when I need a hug, and pops into my room at perfect ranting moments. Doesn't ever look at me like I'm crazy. Recent happiness- when Katie came over and we were wearing ninja turtle masks and playing with guns. (That sounds awful.) She just commits fully. I could tell her right now we are spies, COMMITS! winged dwarfs, COMMITS! juvenile delinquents, COMMITS! A ridiculously fun play mate. A trustworthy and honorable friend. Who wouldn't hug her? Done and done.
  • Kaitlin. Kaitlin makes me feel like GOLD. I know that sounds weird but everytime I talk to her, or we just smile at each other, I feel like I'm worth something. Its hard to explain. I love the way we connect when we talk. I love our similar passions. I love teaching her to play video games (no longer necessary, you bad ass) and dressing up like spies. I love how excited she gets about things like making me a scarf. I LOVE THAT SHE JUST GOES AROUND MAKING PEOPLE SCARFS. I love ginny, that blood traitor.
  • Kristen and Kaitlin. Yup. Together. Disneyland+Alias= One awesome ride.
  • Our acting class. (So many people. I thought I'd mention a thing.) I love our acting class. Bugg has helped me so much. That class has been a relief. I have a bad day! OOP! I get to go to acting class with people I love and do something I love. With a professor I've really come to love and respect. And I get to write Ellesse Smells on the board. RELIEF. :) That isn't even mentioning crazy therapy days.
  • Payden. Makes me laugh, brings out my dirty mouth, and has experienced ballroom craziness we shall never speak of. I love him.
  • All my box office folk. They are down right respectable. Dealing with smelly old people all day. And freaky people who yell about Brian Vaughn. Uhh, pretty sure they are respectable. And fun.
  • Chase. Thank goodness. Someone who thinks I can make terrorists see reason. And see that poker is a better way to spend their time. Hahaha.
  • Sousa. Adventures. Video games. Making our own sims. The rough riders. Can't wait for a return.
  • Cam. Things he taught me. Value in theatre. Knowing I could try anything, and fail, happily.
  • Video games. Thanksgiving means food, and video games with my brothers. Video games may seem pointless to some, but its moments where Meggan is singing on rockband after we have all had dinner together, or Alex Ellesse and I beat castle crashers that make me remember why I love them. Its all about WHO you play with. And the ones I play by myself usually have amazing story lines. Its just another story telling device. LOVE IT. This year I'm killing zombies on Left 4 Dead which is AWESOME. SO FREAKING AWESOME. This game was meant for me. A co op zombie killing game with a really cool girl named zoey who looks like claire on resident evil. ON IT!
  • Susan. And I guess that guy she is always with who looks like Snape.
  • Hogwarts Day.
  • Hye Soo. My roomie and asian sista. Hye dizzle has always been a reliable friend to me. Someone I can rant to about anything, and laugh with... about... anything. Because wow, sometimes we laugh are really REALLY stupid things. She curls my hair. We talk til four in the morning about boys. And I dont really do that with anyone... because that would normally make me feel awkward. HAHAH. A great roommate (not because she does the dishes, but because she is nice to have around you know?). A great friend. And don't even get me started on how much I LOVE performing with her. I always feel like we connect onstage, and doing improv with her is so easy because we just seem to know each other so well. We step onstage and its like we are one brain. SWEEEEET.
  • My family. My parents are awesome. Always supportive. Concerned, but they hear me out. Like about Closer- they were concerned but they trusted me enough to pray and make my own decisions. Thats called good parenting. I LOVE my family SO MUCH. And I'll always love Orem. It has such a big part of me.
  • Alex. The bum. Cedric. The weird david bowie look alike. He is a man of many faces. Something I love about him. But more than just being that fun kid who dresses up... he is strong. He is going to grow into a really great husband and father. (If he doesn't die because of terrible driving first.) I treasure the moments he has confided in me. I'll always love the night of the seagull, and I'll always love how close we felt that night. He is someone I really love having around. He makes me feel comfortable, and at home. Plus, he sings one hell of a heathcliff.
  • Carrie Colton. Always. Knows. What. To. Say. Tasha: "I miss Cathy." Carrie: "I miss Cathy too! *starts crying and hugs Tasha*" ... yeah. Thats all I really needed. :) Carrie is there when I need to be reminded that I can act, and when I need serious ranting about socialism.
  • Shani has the best sense of humor in the world. A great laugh, a cool best friend. She is so easy going, which for someone like me who is not easy going- well its nice to have around. Calms me down. Besides, I don't know anyone who doesn't think Shani is just freaking cool.
  • Ellesse. Smells.
  • ....... Okay okay. For real though. Ellesse. Ellesse. Hmm. Ellesse has kinda caught me at a weird time. But she did. Catch me. But I'll always be thankful for her patience. She has seen me be cruel, ridiculously immature, and downright stupid. But she still loves me. She believes in my ability to better myself, and my ability to stand on my own two feet. I feel like I have one foot a lot. But she reminds me I'm just holding up my leg. :) A fun, witty, FREAKISHLY TALENTED GIRL. She comes with Facing East, and Hogwarts Day. She has been a tender mercy. And I love... that I can so easily love her. She is Christ like and beautiful. And so freaking funny. Its awesome. UH HUH!
  • Chelsea Call. Whenever she is around I feel this huge burden lifted off my shoulders. A good quality to have. She is adorable, and genuine, and so easy to get along with. So easy to get to know. I love watching Ellesse and Chelsea interact. They are fun. Chelsea has just been really great to me. I don't think she knows HOW great she is, how much I really appreciate her. She is my new buddy, and I love her.
  • Shakespeare.
  • Off the Cuff. Improv in general. Let me say more specificly that I'm thankful for Wendy, Tj, Chris and Rev. I wanted to do improv. I really, really did. I watched, enjoyed, but was too scared. But they poked me. Pushed me. Told me I could, and SHOULD do it. They made me believe in myself, and gave me enough courage to stand up, with nothing, and just go at it. They are an inspiration. I watch them, doing what they love.. because... they CAN. They didn't ask for anyones permission. They just DO IT. And they are all brilliant, talented, and I hope I can be that great one day.
  • Kenzie for being adorable and talented. For giving me one of her roses. For playing music that makes me cry.
  • Meggan. Gosh. I love Meggan for loving me. Is that selfish? I love having her around because I feel love coming from her. Not just at me, but at everyone. She has so much light and insight. I LOVE watching movies with Meggan. Closer, The Shape of Things... she has a brilliant mind. She is a great director, a constant missionary, and a huge support when I needed it. A freaking awesome stage combat partner. And a fun zombie hunter. She made the perfect hermione (HES ONE OF THE BEST BOYS I KNOW! HHAHA). I hope she will be my Tim Burton. Get on that Meggan, oh wait, we already are. She makes my dreams come true. :)
  • Star Wars. Duels. And Scott Brazee.
  • Stories. Movies. Good Acting.
  • Tara. My dear pez friend. Everytime I talk to her, call her, play video games with her. I smile. I laugh. And I trust her. I love having her in my life. She is an amazing person, mother, neighbor. Fun, and happy, and loving. And she is great at donkey kong. So yeah, I love her.
  • Music. Yikes. Thats a big one.
  • My awesome apartment, while it lasted.
  • Wuthering Heights, for being above normal music. Sounds like UH HUH. And OH MY GOSH. And What the eff.
  • God. The gospel. There aren't words.
  • Cathy Miner. Cacky Stinky. My bestest of all friends. She is my other half. We were probably suppose to be twins. But I bet I decided I wanted to be a ninja, but she thought that was a silly idea and wanted to be a blondie. So we split up, knowing we could easily find our sister in this big world. Hehe. I truly hate being without her. I miss her so much everyday. But there is a part of me that knows its good that I'm learning to deal with things on my own. And in the end, this is only making our friendship stronger. I had a pretty perfect childhood. Happy. Innocent. And the moment my life got hard, the moment I had to grow up and deal Heavenly Father sent me my best friend. To stand by me. To help me. To pull me up when I had nothing left in me. Cathy in a lot of ways, means home. She is only person I know who I'm completely myself around. There is no worries about how to act, or what to say. There is only myself. She knows exactly who I am. And loves me. Despite the ugliness. And because of goodness that only she gets to see. I LOVE her for that. She is passionate. Has an amazing testimony. HUGE strength. Enough for the both of us. And the best sense of humor. A ridiculously hard worker. (Heck, I get better grades when she is around.) I love how trustworthy she is. We are always honest with each other. And when I really need it, she puts me before herself. More than anyone I know she is capable of putting others needs before herself. Without recognition. They will never know the thought crossed her mind, because she will sacrifice herself to give them something, and they will never even know it. She doesn't look for anything in return. She just does it. Best hugger in the world. Great opinions about acting and movies. (Ha... probably because she shares mine. HAHA) Kick lines. Frauds. Cathy Doobie Sandwiches. Elves. Musical goodness. An amazing love for art. I really could go on forever. I really could. So I'll just say that I love Cathy Miner. She will always be my best friend. My sister. And my favorite person in this world. Take that Natalie Portman. (Whew, a huge blow to her ego.)
  • And a lot of people who are hardly in my life anymore- but should be.

IT IS YOUR... DESTINY!

Author: Shexpeare /




Scott Brazee came to Cedar last night. Meggan turned on the tv and flipped passed channels until I happened upon Revenge of the Sith. Chelsea told me she wanted Cameron to see my lightsaber, so I put on my Jedi costume and brought out my lightsaber. I then decided it was probably a good idea to leave it on and show Scott when he got there. There was a knock at the door.
I turned off the light, opened the door and turned on my lightsaber.
And for the first time in my life.... the person on the other side of the door also. turned. on. a. lightsaber.
The force... it was our destiny.

Yeah. So how awesome is that! I just happened to have my lightsaber, and scott just happened to have his on the other side of the door.It was the MOMENT OF MY LIFE. It was epic. Then, naturally, we dueled.


Scott:I packed my car tuesday morning preparing for my five day stay in cedar city. I made sure that my new dueling lights saber was tucked safely under my back seat. On the drive up i was sad to find out that there would be no one home to show my lightsaber,then Anatasha Blakley texted me. If anyone would appreciate my light saber it would be Tasha. When i arrived at her apartment i gripped my saber in aticipation,little did i know she was prepared....

We dueled. And Meggan and I dueled. Suffice to say I was really really excited?!

Strip Speed

Author: Shexpeare /

Have you ever walked in on people playing strip poker speed.
 Well I have.
*Giggles*

Romilda Smells

Author: Shexpeare /



I LOVE PANSY!

I miss being pansy! What a snob.

Hogwarts day was so freaking amazing. There are no words. It makes every other day seem boring! Thank goodness Ellesse ... *clears throat* Romilda was born. GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!

Fighting with Hermione, and loving Draco. Meeting the whole Weasley gang. No old Harry Potter in sight.

It was just so beautiful. And the amount of people who dressed up was, RIDICULOUSLY COOL! Not to mention we have the greatest professors ever. Anthony and Rick deserve metals.

I will never forget the wonderful defense against the dark arts class (stage combat) and going to hogsmeade... (the pub).

So beautiful. Thank you all for dressing up! And thank you Ellesse for taking us to a magical world for a day! Romilda smells!

*Sigh* I wish.. I WISH I WENT TO HOGWARTS.

It's that big.

Author: Shexpeare /

You've got all eternity to get it right. One step at a time.

There is this void in my life, where my best friend should be.

It leaves me feeling.... very unlike myself.

One of my favorite things about Cathy is sharing theatre with her. She is missing Facing East. Something we would have loved to discuss. Bah.

I feel like I'm going to explode today. I have so much in me that wants to be let out.... and no one to go to.

Facing East

Author: Shexpeare /

What a great opening night!
I'm going to see it every night, I already have my tickets. Call me crazy if you will... you'll understand the moment you see it.
I will never forget the look on their faces. To my left, Kaitlin and Payden. To my right, Chloe and Trevor. And Hye Soo, Kristen, and Alex turn around towards me. Then Chelsea. It was an awakening.
I will never forget that look. Everyone had the same face last night.
Congrats Ellesse. We're with you.

Opps! I forgot my pants!
...
AWW! BRIDGET!!!

They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark to everything that had led to this point.

Author: Shexpeare /

Lately I've been sick. I've been coughing up a lung! (though I'm not sure which one...) I try to sleep, and end up coughing so much that I can't. Which probably causes me to be sicker because I'm not getting sleep, or really eating well for that matter. This last week has been a nightmare and that also has probably made the sickness stronger. This is not disney aids either. I see no good outcome, no happy pirates water, just coughing up organs. I hardly would sleep anyway. I love staying up late.

Yesterday was nice. Meggan made everyone dinner. (God bless her.) It was amazing. Kaitlin made bread.. Kristen made cinnamon rolls. I looked around. It was just happiness you know? And we played Rock Band. Which is awesome! I've always known it was awesome, but having people sing was so much fun. I've never had people sing before. I'm going to have to go ahead and buy drums. I can't decide who my favorite singer is. They were all so good. Meggan is a classic, Kristen... is just plain AMAZING. Ellesse made me pee a little and Alex is... well... really energetic????? We made some awesome characters too. @, Kookame...x, The Doctor, and Reggie. I love Smellesse. Best. Band. Ever.

Rock band=Great. Everything else about last night=.... sheesh. Where are the words? There are no words.

It boggles my mind how sometimes I can ruin things so completely. No matter what ends up happening, all I can think is that yeah- I did this. I made the mistakes and the consequences are finally catching up to me. God tried to warn me, and I still ruined it. I hate myself for that. What makes it worse is that the only two people in cedar who I think could have made me feel better... I was horrible to. I don't deserve their friendship. What kind of idiot am I? I've been so horrible to Ellesse. I'm just throwing that out there. Just being honest. Makes me look at myself differently, thats for sure. I mean, what kind of person can be mean to her of all people? She is undeserving of that kind of treatment. In every single way. I am sorry. But what good are words when your actions are less noble?

Well. I miss cathy. More than words can wield the matter. Haha, she hates it when I quote that line from King Lear, because I love it and use it far too often. But out of context its beautiful. If I could go back in time- I would tell myself to, uh, not be an idiot. Is that too rude? I think I might have listened. If I knew what I knew now. I would go back to right before we did beauty and the beast at my high school. And I would tell myself to stop. being. selfish.
Okay okay, to conclude. Selfish. Unfair to Cathy. Horrible to Ellesse. But at least I'm good at Rock Band. I'm quite exceptional at guitar hero too. So I should be a hermit and play video games and nothing else for the rest of my life. Tasha may or may not be a life ruiner. So instead I'll just be a zombie. Better to be a shell than selfish.

"Its like staring into the grave of your love."

Author: Shexpeare /

This is the third time you have made one of my "irrational nightmares" a reality.
You'd think I would learn to expect it by now. But each time I say to myself "Well, there it was. That is the worst. There is no way that my next nightmare (which is far worse) will ever become a reality. That is as far as it can go."
Well thank you so freaking much for proving me wrong all the time. Keeps me on my toes I guess.
It is so funny. I had a dream, I've talked about it a lot in the past, but thats because every piece of that dream has become a reality. EVERY LITTLE THING HAS COME TO PASS.
I'm a seer. Seriously. A jedi. A VISIONARY. Give me something special for being special. I have a power I suppose.

I'd like now to mention that I thought of Max Payne this morning. Not about the stupid horrible movie that needs to stop existing in the world- but the really great game. It is so beautiful, and I loved it so much...


B*witched- OH. MY. GOOOOOSH.

Author: Shexpeare /

BEFORE:



I AM FREAKING OUT. IN A good way... uhfdhsahfdhsafdkjskk....

Okay. You don't even understand. Beginning in the fifth grade, and NEVER ending, because look at me now, I was obsessed with B*witched. Now most of you remember that song C'est La Vie. No nonono... it was so much more than that. Irish wonderful role models.

Anyway. Shani began singing blame it on the weather man and I joined in and we realized we are both obsessed. I LOVE US. I LOVE THEM. I love the twins. The secret is out. So... we might as well share that we found out the twins, keavy and edele, who we love, are totally.. Ms Lynch. A new... little twin band of awesomeness.

Take it shani

Shani: Dreams really do come true. Thank you for sharing this moment and this obsession with me, dear buddy. This is the beginning of something truly great.
Tasha: THANKS SHANI!

Anyway, I know its SO Freaking dorky... but YAY!

Could life get any better right now?

Well, the fact that we just admitted to an embarassing obsession... I guess we are stupid, but we are just so happy! I feel like a little kid! I LOVE KEAVY..... *sigh*
Yeah. Diet coke.

AFTER:




Besides that. There are no words.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

Ellesse Did Not Smell

Author: Shexpeare /

Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells Ellesse Smells.



I watched Facing East's rehearsal yesterday. I cried. A lot. In the best way possible. It was FREAKING AWESOME.
...and... Ellesse Did Not Smell.

Bee ba da boo ba da.... take care of the family Joey. Mario's addicted to cocaine.

Author: Shexpeare /

This Halloween felt more like Halloween than.... any Halloween has... for... years.
It was great.
We watched 1-2 scary movies a night this entire week. (The Rope, which I didn't see. Whores. Scotland Pa., which though I fell asleep during, I still enjoyed. The Ring, which isn't really how I remembered it. The Descent, FREAKING AWESOME. I dare you to get me started on the great relationships and every kind of scary thats in it. What Lies Beneath, which I fell asleep during, but gosh its so great. The Skeleton Key, which I fell asleep during. Sleepy Hallow, which I fell asleep during. Nightmare Before Christmas... which.. I fell... asleep... during. Okay, I hardly ever stay awake. *shoots self* But it was still great, and the feeling was there.) Usually when I watched so many horror movies I feel yucky and... yucky... and... ucky.. mucky... you know what I mean? But with all the great friends around and stuff it just felt really happy.
Screaming into a pillow, and watching everyone else freak out during the descent was a moment for the history books. Not to mention when I banged on the window and Ellesse attacked everyone... and Alex kicked her in the head. Carrie crawled into a little ball and died. Best. Day. Ever. Meggan pacing. Hye Soo covering her eyes. Alex letting out odd screams. Beth getting hit in the neck by Juno and blood squirti- I'm getting off track.
Hye soo and I were Mario and Luigi. Kristen was Princess Peach.
I mean... we won 2nd place in a costume contest.
Annnnd jumped around to Jen's noises.
Ellesse was going to Hogwarts, made Ron fall in love with her, and he cast a spell that made her a leper. Suffice to say we had to kill him. Once we did her skin peeled off and she was healthy. I appreciate that. Smelling is bad enough.
I'm fairly certain this was one of the best Halloweens... EVER. I shall be using said formula to create grand Halloweens for the rest of my life. I hope. Part of said formula requires good company.

Luigi is sort of a pervert. *sigh*