I've seen angels fall from blinding heights, but you yourself are nothing so divine.

Author: Shexpeare /

The break has been really nice. I thought for sure it would be stressful and irritating, but it has actually been fun!
I've enjoyed myself. Going back to a busy schedule will be hard, but I'm still pretty excited for school to start again.
I've been feeling pretty motivated lately. "Act like it isn't possible to fail."
You know my name.

ding... dong... ding dong.... dooobie... glafffffon!

Author: Shexpeare /

Christmas was fantastic. I must say, I have the best friends and family ever. Besides being cool, they certainly buy the best presents. Thanks to all...

Here is my papa bowling on the Wii.
My family is so amusing.

Boba Fett is sexy!!

Author: Shexpeare /

This is what Chase got me for Christmas!!! ....- I KNOW!!!

Sousa and I played scrabble with INTERESTING WORDS.
Then we built this. SWEET ACTION JACKSON!

I hate feeling lonely.

Author: Shexpeare /

I was driving with Cathy, Jill, and Jen. It was snowy and we were on the freeway. We did a 360 and when we finally stopped we were facing traffic. Luckily we didn't crash into anyone, but it was a freaking miracle. There were so many cars on the road, I don't know how we didn't.
Oh yeah, and I totally told cathy to put on her seatbelt. :) Heheh.

I spent the weekend at Jill's house with Cathy and Jen. It was really fun. I enjoy their company. I wish Jill wasn't leaving... and I hope she comes back.

YAY!! So Emily is Lady Macbeth. How proud am I?!
SOOOoooOOO proud. That kid is my hero. :)

Cedar City Magic at its FINEST!

Author: Shexpeare /

This is cathy and I after we performed our scene. We pretty much rocked everyone's socks. Aren't we cute? :) hehehe

Joe being a terrorist!!! It reminds me of when sousa was dressed up as one... hahaha

Ash being a terrorist!!!

Playing poker!

Playing poker with.. candy chips?

Cathy doing a little fake karaoke... :)

Roomies at the pub!


Author: Shexpeare /

It just hit me again.... how old I'm getting.
I'm still young.
But time is constantly passing and one day I'll barely remember this day.
This is a picture of my neighborhood for the most part... you can even pick out my house if you are cool like me!!! Sorry Sousa, your house is barely cut off. Anyway, really cool huh!
Makes me miss being a kid, and caring so much about that simple neighborhood. It all began there. It'll always be home.

Requiem for the bad scene fiasco!

Author: Shexpeare /

Most people I talked to before seeing it, said that Requiem for a Dream could only be watched once, because it was too freaking intense.
I've watched it a few times now.
It upsets me.
But its just sooooo goooood..... I can't stop thinking about it. And candace is right, it sure makes you grateful. Scares you too.
Brilliant. Honestly.

Cathy and I performed our scene today in class. May I announce to all of you: We officially kicked ass. :)

Finals DOO doo doo DOOO doo finals, do dooo doo DOOO doo, finals DOO doo dooo doo DOOOBIE DOOBIE DOOO!! I'm stressed! YAY! but not so much that I didn't stop to blog!

I'm excited for christmas, but I also really don't want to leave cedar city so soon. It is a long story, but trust me, orem is the last place I want to be right now. It might kill me.

Harry and Marion

Author: Shexpeare /

This song... goes with that picture so well. I can't even explain how lovely it all is.
Requiem for a Dream is a freaking intense movie. I loved it AND hated it. (Mostly loved.)One of those you know?

How cool am I!!!! Catwoman... heck yes...

Author: Shexpeare /

You are Catwoman

The Flash
Iron Man
Green Lantern
Wonder Woman
You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society's cast-offs.

Casino Royale... oh how I love you James Bond

Author: Shexpeare /

So... The new 007 movie is pretty much the greatest thing since the cathy doobie sandwhich at the Italian Place. (Or something you like a lot, like sliced bread, bagles and cream cheese or even pizza if you can't think of anything.)
I love it so much.
Great James Bond.
And Eva Green is the best bond chick EVER.
Oh how I love action, poker and love... and that is all this movie is!!!
Note: I also love the allusion to lady macbeth. How COOL can you get. I saw it again. YAY!

Thankful fooooooooOOOoor-

Author: Shexpeare /

I'm thankful for-

  • My family. They are the best. I miss having them around. It is good to be home...
  • Video Games with my brother time. Hey, that is a real thing to be thankful for! We have been doing it every thankgiving since I can remember.
  • Yams. I didn't know how yummy yams were. I've been swooping in and stealing yams for the past hour. MUAHAHAH!
  • My dad's big brain. It comes in handy.
  • Cathy doobie... where would I be without her. Honestly. (How much do I love her? As much as Alexis loves Mark's film in Rent. SOOO MUCH.)
  • Ashley and Bri. The coolest roomates ever. Ashley for making snowflakes and coloring with me. And Bri for feeding me and appreciating movies with me.
  • Orem. It is wonderful you know. It is always the same. :)
  • Greg and Kyle. Even though greg is never serious and Kyle is kind of a prune. I love them. (THAT IS RIGHT! LOVE, and I CAN SAY THAT! Pff, long story.)
  • Star wars. It just makes me happy.
  • Chase and all his musical goodness.
  • Kristi, always a reliable source of love.
  • Sousa... and natalie.. and johnny and monty and grace! NOOO THEY ARE DEAD! *sobs* Okay, maybe I'm just grateful for sousa.
  • Those little people in Les Mis, how I enjoyed you.
  • And the book store.

Sorry to all those people and things who didn't make the cut. I had a lot more to write, but I have to drive my mother to the store to get some christmas stuff. So I guess that is all for this year! HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

the fire the cat and i lived under

Author: Shexpeare /

I grew up with a fake christmas tree, a lot of people freak out when I say this, but I haven't ever had a real tree.I'm actually completely okay with this. The fake tree always looked beautiful and the same. It was familiar, I got attached to it.
We had a christmas tree candle and no needles on the floor. It is perfect. Was perfect.
My mom got rid of it. She wants a new one, maybe one that is pre-lit.
The ornaments will still be there.
The little bag of toys.
Even the ones we purchased with the tree.
But the tree will be gone.
That same tree I woke up to, every christmas morning for the past...
That same tree I stared at when I was young,pondering my life, my future.
I'm going to miss you tree.
And in the spirit of the holidays, I thought I would say thank you for those nights when you made me realize.

Even though you are just a tree and you can't talk of listen. You aren't even a living plant-
I still had to say it. I'll miss you.


Author: Shexpeare /

Sometimes interesting things happen on impulse.
I don't know why.
I wasn't really that angry. I just went with my instincts.
It just seemed like the right thing to do at that time.
It was the right thing to do at the time.

Anyway, one can't be mad I slapped them, when one attacked and left marks on another that night.
Over shotgun.
Gotta defend the little ones.

just yesterday we were talking about how it all worked out...

Author: Shexpeare /

Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real you woke up crying? Even after waking up I couldn't get that fight in the store out of my head. It seemed like it happened, and it seemed so sad and real. Even though, now when I think about it, it shouldn't have been so sad. A little ridiculous.
I woke up crying and I ran upstairs to cathy's room. And when I saw her I started bawling and hugged her. Because the dream took her away from me. It wasn't fair.
Sometimes I hate dreaming.

El Bobbo and the curvy vaccum guys!

Author: Shexpeare /

Kristi came up yesterday to visit, that was really fun. It was good to catch up. I think we have both changed a lot. But I still felt completely comfortable talking to her about anything. That's good. Really good.
It was interesting thinking about past happenings, and maybe what we should have done different. Seeing the big picture sometimes makes me feel foolish.
We went to the pub, and then denny's. And some weird ladies asked us to go talk to some ugly curvy vaccum guys. I mean, ugly kirby vaccum guys.
I still don't understand why.
Then we hung out with brit brit at her house, and then at wal-mart. That was really fun. El hoffo has a fun room to play with (right el hoffo? Even though it might have annoyed you a little... you just have so many tooooyys!!)

Yoo-hoos are good.
Yoo-hoos double fudge and dyna-mocha, are not.

shoooting hoops

Author: Shexpeare /

I will be home soon!!! Then because of elements out of my control, I will be back in cedar city for two days, then HOME AGAIN! Wow. That is a lot of driving. I'm still really excited though. I love it here, but it is nice to take a break from school and life in the magical world of cedar once in a while.

I need to learn to dribble a basketball better. Hope it helps.

I need more video games to play. I've been playing the same ones over and over.. because I have run out.
I know that blogging about wanting to play video games is a little pathetic, but it is my blog, so too bad. :)
I'm excited to see you all in the play. That is right... I'm cooommminnngggg!!!!!! Wooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just duh

Author: Shexpeare /

We all know I believe in the butterfly effect... and I HATE that I'm causing bad ripples.
Make sense?
I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to look back and think "Wow, I should have done the right thing, that really would have changed everything."

And I got a B+ on my psych test.... not too bad. But still. DUH!
I'm so angry right now, and it is a mixture of things. DUH!

ittttsss six in the morning and I can't sleep, do doooo dooo doo doobie and I can't sleep, the knee bones connected to this, red thing, la la la la la

Author: Shexpeare /

We have a psychology test today. But I kind of suck at these last few chapters.
Oh crapppp crapp. Theeeeeee synaptic gaps connected to this, purple thing, the purple things connected to the axon, the axons connected to the neuron, and cathy makes up funny songs to help me remeeeemmmberrr!!!

Ooo, I got 98% on my french test. COOOOL huh?! Okay, maybe you don't care. But I enjoy the feeling of success.
Which is exactly what I won't feel after taking my psych test. Heh.

Also, I tried out for the Directing I classes-little scene- final .. required project thingy. Yeah, it wasn't required by my acting class (it was by another) but a lot of us did it because we wanted to. Anyway, I'm in two of them, and I'm meeting the directors today. Sounds fun! I'm excited.

Have you ever seen something onstage, and there was a person who was just plain HARD TO LOOK AT?!?!? Well I didn't experience this until recently. Ask me if you would like.

oh yeah, I forgot about halloween

Author: Shexpeare /

On halloween we went to a haunted house. It was the first time me and Cathy really hung out with people in our acting class. It was us, and Greg, Katie and Smitee (Carrie.) Yeah. It was really fun. We waited in line for a really long time, but the haunted hospital was well done.

I like hanging out with them.
Ah- I see this as the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

It is necessary to suffer to be beautiful

Author: Shexpeare /

Jamba Juice

Author: Shexpeare /

Natalie Portmans Jamba Juice skit on SNL reminds me of back when Cathy worked there. Remember that? When she worked on SNL? Of course you don't because I was talking about Jamba Juice FOOL! Hah! Anyway, those were good times.

We don't have a Jamba Juice here in cedar city.
I miss it.
I want a Jamba Juice so badly... it hurts my soul.

I'm afraid that history is repeating itself....

Author: Shexpeare /

And once again, it is all my fault.

charlie is here to irritate me

Author: Shexpeare /

I have a mild charlie horse right now. Very uncomfortable. It doesn't seem to want to go away either. Yuck.
Cannibal ended yesterday. Though rehearsals were kind of a pain, the run was extremely satisfying. I forgot that feeling. Performing gives me such an amazing feeling. Yay.
I auditioned for the directing classes ten minute scenes, so thats exciting. It went really really well. At least that is what I'm told.
So yay.
Speaking of charlie horses....
Its the magical bridge of hope and wonder! :) Anyone not seen the video? Look up charlie the unicorn on youtube.com
That is all.

carry an umbrella or... a bat or something. You won't get raped.

Author: Shexpeare /

I really can't wait for Cannibal to be over. I'm tired of being there everyday.
I would probably enjoy it- but instead it stresses me out because of a few select stupidnesshoods.
The moment that I don't have to worry about those stupidnesshoods anymore (I should take care of them today ("You snapped her neck?!")) then I think I can enjoy the run of the show.
I'm eating captain crunch.
So life isn't TOO bad. :)
I have a french oral exam today as well, that should be interesting. Especially since I suck a little bit at speaking french.

24 Hour Theatre

Author: Shexpeare /

I did 24 Hour Theatre yesterday and it was way fun! Cathy did it to and she was amazing.
It was insane.
INSAAAANE I tell you. I was so tired when we were done. It was worth it though, and I learned a lot. And we both made some really cool friends.
So yeah, intense and fun, try it sometime.

break out into song

Author: Shexpeare /

Why do people feel the need to break out into song? I don't feel the need to break out into acting. I mention a musical, people break out into song. "I love wicked."
"Oh Rent is great!"
"Oooouuuttt tonight! HA HA! I have to go!! oouuuutttt tonight. UH UH ah ah UH!"

"I love macbeth!"
"Oh much ado is awesome. Emma thompson rocks."
"You always end in a jades trick, I know you of old!"
"FORSWORN Mary timmins twenty years ago.."

Yeah right. Anyway, this is a funny discovery Cathy and I made. I know it doesn't sound that funny, but trust us-
It is.

let go

Author: Shexpeare /

I thought I had trained myself to release my own inhibitions onstage, but apparently not. I have always known that I had a long way to go, a lot to learn... but this... is so simple-
Why can't I do it?

first snow

Author: Shexpeare /

I thought to myself, I need to blog.
Why you ask?
Because we had our first snow today. I haven't seen a first snow this beautiful since.. I was a little kid. It was so gorgeous. I was coming back from class and the snow was getting my white hoodie SOAKING! I was listening to Don't be afraid, you have just got your eyes closed- Mum. And I seriously was about to cry. It was so beautiful outside. I just stood there for a moment. That is pure happiness. And I thought, "Wow, so that is what pure happiness feels like. I need to remember this feeling." So I blogged. Maybe I can remember how it feels.

Miriem and Ashley woke me up at three in the morning to check out the snow. And then this morning I had hot chocolate (with whip cream) and pumpkin pie (with whip cream) for breakfast. This is the best day!


Author: Shexpeare /

I did several satisfying things today that I thought I would share:

  • Ate chicken strips. (I know that sounds lame, but I was really craving them.)
  • Figured out what to get one of my roomates for their birthday. (Aida!)
  • Had a good rehearsal. (Whoa.)
  • Had a good rehearsal partly because I found out my costume is going to ROCK instead of be ugly.
  • And the most satisfying things I did today- Bought a new shower curtain. The one given to us was really long and went into the tub. It made is slippery and yucky. (It would keep soapy substance and shampoo underneath, and you could never get it clean.) And if you pulled it out the floor would get so freaking wet...So to have a short shower curtain that kept water in (Plus its a cute green) was really awesome. Appreciate your shower curtain today people!

P.S. I tried really hard to find a picture of a snickers bar. You know how the back says Satisfies, I thought that would be so cute if I could only find that picture. The shower curtain picture will have to do.

food network

Author: Shexpeare /

Cathy's roomates have been watching the food network a lot lately, causing me to be hungry more often, eat more, and then feel fat. Yuck.
But the cake competition, (I have to admit) was pretty cool! The Scooby Doo cake was amazing, and I wonder if it tasted good. Woot!

I feel a little gross today. Maybe a little sick, ugly or inadequate. Maybe all of them. I think tomorrow will be a good day though.


Author: Shexpeare /


Author: Shexpeare /

It was so fun seeing everyone. And spending a few days watching shakespeare was great. I really miss performing it...
I love you guys! I will never find anyone who could replace any of you. You guys so fun and .. Yeah I miss you already!

Some of the teams acting was disappointing and others were amazing and blew me away! Good job guys!

I didn't realize how much I missed shakespeare.

A pox o' your throat, you bawling, blasphemous, incharitable dog! :)

First the good news, its gonna feel really nice, Then the bad news, we have to pay a heavy price.

Author: Shexpeare /

So lately I am beginning to realize that I like the IDEA of a lot of things more than I like the actual thing.
I like the idea of dating a certain guy, but I would never really want to, because... it wouldn't be like the idea. Because my idea of them isn't what they are really like.
That applies to a lot of things in my life lately.

I really love my classes.
Each one has something to offer, whether I like to admit that or not. (My freshmen classes have even taught me a little...though they are yucky.) I just feel like I have grown a lot. And I'm really trying. Yay!

Okay, so this Meatloaf thing (as chase calls it) is really... dragging me down. I don't feel like I've learned anything. (Except that you shouldn't except every role given to you. Experience is not experience like they say. Somethings are not worth it.)

So generally I'm doing really well.
But- there is a but.
I feel like there is a storm brewing. Not a good one. And last time I felt this, everyone exploded and stopped being friends for a long time, and things still aren't the same.
So I'm afraid. My gut feels torn between awesomeness (hehe) and Uh oh-ness (hehe). I guess I should enjoy the goodness and subtly prepare for the worst.

"Put those thoughts away, sometimes they're much to loud."


Author: Shexpeare /

Next week I'm going to lunch with a very attractive male.

The sun is warm like a baked potato!

Author: Shexpeare /

This has been the most boring weekend. I almost shot myself. I bought a few new video games because I was so bored. I got Star Wars Battlefront II. It is pretty darn awesome, but I still felt really restless. I missed people a lot during my boredom.
I can't wait for shakespeare comp! Its going to be such a blast!!! YAY!!!!I'm excited to see the peoples man. The peoples.
I bought legos yesterday. A big box of them. It was so much fun to build stuff. I built a boat, a house, and a car. Yeah, pretty rocking. It isn't as fun without the little people though. I need to get some of those. I decided I want more legos for christmas. Hahahha.
My church is uber boring everyone. I dislike being in a student ward. It yucky.
Cannibal is going okay. :| Heh.
I'm way excited. We are doing monologues in class, and then after that me and Cathy are doing a scene together. HOW CUTE ARE WE??!!?!? Hahaha. It is going to be great. I don't know why but I have always really wanted to do a scene with Cathy. Yay! Hope everyone is doing good. Looove you!

Cut off your crusts!

Author: Shexpeare /

This girl sang Defying Gravity at this school activity thingy last night.
Yeah, people shouldn't sing things that are so popular at the moment. Or maybe people just shouldn't sing Wicked ever. Especially when they can't do it very well.

I have gotten many a compliment on my rockspeare shirt.
That was just a side note. But yeaaaaah.
Thats all.

The more I read this play, the more I love it. The play is so much better than the movie. Yes, I know that some of you don't like this movie (Jessy!) and that everyone else hasn't seen it....
You won't like it.
Its slightly inappropriate. (HA!)
Anyway, I just love it so much. Cathy and I are going to do a scene from it. Something you won't see in the movie. A meeting between the two girls. AWESOME!

How Am I Not Myself?

Author: Shexpeare /

How am I not myself? Even when I'm acting completely "Unlike myself" or I'm lying or I'm fake, it is coming from me. It is COMING FROM ME. So how am I not myself? I'm always myself.
How am I not myself?

Cathy, Miriem, Me, Ashley

Author: Shexpeare /

These are the coolest four people in Cedar City. Oh that is RIGHT! We are the doobie. These are two of cathy's roomates. But yeah, we are ninja turtles.

I hope he is okay!

Author: Shexpeare /

I just got back from my first rehearsal in Cannibal the Musical. Thats right. Its about people eating each other. In fact, its pretty funny. The opening scene is very violent. But in the good way. (If there is a good way.)
I've been sad most of the day, but tonight has been way fun. I got to talk to Chase and Cam, that was fun. And then I was dancing around the TV show themes with Cathys roomates. Yeah. Awesome to go from being a power ranger to the pink panther to ninja turtles. Then the friends fountain. And now we are going to watch friends. Very exciting!!!
I have a french quiz tomorrow. Luckily I'm awesome! Hehehe.


Author: Shexpeare /

I was just reading some of the older blogs. Chase posted this once and it was something I felt like posting again.
"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the respect of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of one's self;
To leave the world a bit better,whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
To know even one life hs breathed easier because you have lived-
This is to have succeeded."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friends 238 Club

Author: Shexpeare /

Cathy and I are almost through all ten seasons of friends. We are on the beginning of the last season. Can you believe it? We are almost in our own club. (In which we have to watch all of them in order. Hahaha) Now that Cathys roomates are watching it with us, we may have to go through them again though. Hehehe :)


Author: Shexpeare /

School has been going really well. For the most part I love all my classes. I already feel like I have grown as a person, and an actress. And those are the things I want out of school. So yay!!! This last week has been kinda hard on me. I feel scattered and a little like a failure. But that isn't because I don't like it here. I just feel like there are a few things I could have done better. But what is done, is done. So here I am. Feeling a little lost. But its okay, I'm coming home this weekend, and I think it will be really good for me to touch base. You know?
So hopefully I can see everybody.

If anyone is thinking of coming to SUU, (Especially my little Hilarios) you should come. I love it!

I need to blog more often. And I will.
I will try to post pictures soon of my roomates, and me and Cathys awesome new friends. Especially Ashley and Miriem. We finally found people who LOVE to watch friends with us. Hahahaha. Exciting huh? Hope to see you all soon!

You know those sad blogs. Yeah. I need to blog one of those.

I'm okay.

do do do do doooo do do do

Author: Shexpeare /

Hey!! Here I am! Classes haven't started so I'm a little bored. But it already feels like home here! Isn't that great? I miss you guys though.

well well well...

Author: Shexpeare /

Cathy just left. And I'm leaving on thursday. Whew. It seems pretty crazy. I can't believe I'm leaving for college. It is one of those things I always thought of as really far away. But here we are.
If you want to see me before I go... give me a call. I'm pretty packed full of visits, but uhh... yeah.

Superman the rock, and Pouty Mc Pout Pout Da Witch who wouldn't shut her mouth!

Author: Shexpeare /

Okay, I totally loved the new superman movie. Just so you all know. It rocked my socks, all way to China town where they are currently hunting shmoos. I'm serious.
So if you don't like it, that is just too bad for you.... LOSER.
Oh, and I saw Pirates, and was semi-disappointed. But that is okay, because my heart isn't really in those movies, though I love Mr. Depp, I'm not attached to Pirates, mainly because Orlan-lan and Ms. I-Can't-Shut-My-Pouty-Damned-Lips are freakishly annoying.
She also has big teeth.
And is gross when seductive, if you could call it that. (I'll give her one thing, at this one part she stabs these two guys at the same time, and it looked pretty cool. But that was more of the person who designed the fight, and not so much her.) OH!! And, you will hate her character at the end of the movie. I gurantee that much!
Not as good as Natalie Portman. If you say so, I'll shoot you. No really- I WILL. Don't even compare the two.
So yeah, Superman! YAY! Pirates, mini YAY!!! But only for CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow.


Author: Shexpeare /

Listening to the soundtrack from the movie Crash makes me want to watch it so bad. I can almost feel....
You know. I can't explain how that movie makes me feel. I know it makes me cry, but its.... a different kind of cry.
Its like my body shuts down, and I'm in a different person for two hours. Crazy, I can't explain it. But the music is currently making me want to cry. So yeah, I better go to bed.
If you haven't seen the movie. Dooo itt!

Red Dress

Author: Shexpeare /

In the Deep

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Author: Shexpeare /


badly drawn girl

Author: Shexpeare /

I went to Austins missionary.... ummm.. that thing where they open the letter. Yeah. There were some good cookie things. That is besides the point.
Austin opening his letter. He is going to Russia.
I really...
I really felt the spirit. And I was crying kinda a lot. Which was embarassing because no one in his family was crying, and his friends were all smiling and laughing. And I barely know him.
But I just... had this great feeling. About everything. About the gospel, and about missionary work. And I was reminded of when my brother went to one of those. He had an experience. And he cannot deny its truth. And it was all too beautiful.
No matter how bad things get, I don't think I can ever deny that it is true.
I can never deny it.
No matter how many stupid things I do, or how bad of an example I am, that will never stop it from being true.

I also saw the new Joseph Smith movie, and I loved it. I can see why some people would like the other movies more, but it was a really good experience for me.

The X to the doobie is the doobie X-men

Author: Shexpeare /

So there is the gang, oh, and the phoenix. Yeah, I pretty much loved that movie. There is something about the tragedy that IS x-men that I have always loved so much. It is just down right DEAR TO MY HEART!! Okay, that is a little over the top. But no really.... I totally think it is doobie.
Beefy doobie glafin girnaff.
Oh yeah.
I love the scene where Jean wakes up, and I also love the scene in the house. Especially when they first get there. CRAZY. Its like she has a drinking problem and they are approaching her. Hahahhaha. Yeah. Anyway. GO FAMKE!!!

Nobody touches you, sometimes we crash into each other just to feel something again

Author: Shexpeare /

I have a mission this summer. There are so many people I have to say goodbye to. I just realized that. Because there are so many people I may never see again. Not necessarily my current friends, but the people that I haven't seen in years. I just... need to hang out with them one more time. Tell them I love them one more time. And that is my mission this summer.

Say goodbye.

Hopefully not forever.

I felt like blogging but have nothing to say. Got yearbooks today. I'm getting okay grades. People are stupid and they piss me off. I think falling in love would be an adventure. I'm going to buy the second post secret book.

steps don't exist, their just pushing me off

Author: Shexpeare /

Well. The banquet has come and gone. Which means that it is the end of the year and I must say goodbye! I mean, we still have "all" summer. But we know that doesn't last as long as we think. I love you guys SOOO much and you have all taught me a lot. This year has been the greatest I've had in high school.... I think. That is a little hard to determine. I'd say so though.
So.... I hope you all know you can call me anytime. And I hope you do. Though I expect you won't.

I'm scared of growing up. And I'm being pushed into it. I know what I want, but I don't know how to get it, and... I didn't think I would have to worry about it so soon.

I banked at the banquet by the way. It was way doobie. And unexpected.

I'm so excited! THE AWESOME is coming to visit. Well. I love you guys, and I'll miss you.

Emily. You better darn well call me. All the freaking time.

I don't feel like saying my goodbyes on here. So I won't.

Fulfilling my potential, would really cut into my sitting around time!

Author: Shexpeare /

Maria Bamford is the funniest person ever. Seriously. I love her soooo much.

Watch one of the clips. Cult is so great! Really, watch it man!


Cedar Friends and other objects of my affection.

Author: Shexpeare /

Well, I'm here in Cedar City. Me and Cathy and staying with Hoffo, visiting the dorms. I'm not sure how I feel about this city. I love it, because it reminds me of shakespeare competition. But at the same time its just not home. It kinda reminds me of provo with all the cool old buildings and the neat ally doobies.
I think I will miss home.
But if nothing else-
Mornings here are nice. In this room, the morning is nice.
And if I get bored I'll just read a lot, and play video games. Which is pretty much all I do anyway right? Heheh
It is good to see Hoffo, El Hoff mister. Good ol' Brit Brit.

On another note, my whole friend situation seems odd. We were "family" right? And we had a cat named rolo. But not really, because families aren't split up as easily as us. Everyone seems to be picking sides. It just seems stupid. Well, nevermind. I don't want to talk about that anymore.

If chris can't go to state because of class stuff I'm going to be mad because I really want to go. I have to do the scene better. It just wasn't good enough. And I have to make up for it. So I hope he can go.

Anyway, How are all of YOU doing?

"we had loved them, and they hadn't heard us calling"

Author: Shexpeare /

i looked at myself today and i felt angry

Author: Shexpeare /

"I feel angry all the time and I don't know why. I don't know why."

Inspired by HOFFO and BOREDOM.

Author: Shexpeare /

First item you stole: A sticker
First pet: PopBelly da Frog. He lived a really long time.
First piercing: Wow, none. That is slightly sad.
First school: little red preschool or something like that.
First house location: uhhhhh about two streets away from where i live now
First crush: I don't want to talk about it. LOL
First kiss: I don't want to talk about it. LOL
First car: Oh, i guess that crappy one outside my house counts.

Last time you smoked: Hasn't happened
Last food you ate: A dorito. A single chip.
Last movie you watched on dvd at home: my house? uhhh..... I don't even remember. 28 days later I think.
Last movie you watched at the cinema: Walk the Line. It was purtty goood.
Last text message: I am very hungry that would be nice.
Last music video u saw: Beep by the pussycat dolls. Not that great of a song. Or music video for that matter.
Last song you listened to: uhhh something from Rent.
Last words you said: Yeah I can

dated a best friend: define dated
been arrested: yeah..
been on TV: Yeah
eaten sushi: Heck yes. I AM sushi.
cheated on your BF/GF: no
been on a blind date: uhh actually no
been out of the country: yup yup
been in love: i dont know. No I would say.

1. My theatre camp shirt.
2. Stupid pants I don't like.
3. Cookie Monster Underwear
4. A bra I actually like.
5. My rough riders dog tag

1. Wore shoes that weren't really shoes.
2. Lost shoes. Or thought I had.
3. Ate cup of noodles
4. Laughed
5. Glared at someone.
6. Went to the mall

1. Acting actually...
2. A fresh feeling mouth
3. The book store
4. The smell of the book store
5. Feeling productive and not frustrated
6. Laughing
7. Cathy. (In no particular order, I promise. LOL)

I don't trust you, I can't tell you that! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH! I trust cathy. Uhhh and I trust everyone else at times. I'm a pretty trusting person.

1. Learn to play an intrument and enjoy it.
2. Be an action star
3. Prove to be loyal.

vanilla or chocolate:uhhhhh chocolate..... but vanilla ice cream is very good
rock or rap: oh ROCK!! WOO!!

Actually I'm going to go see them now. This was fun and all though....


Author: Shexpeare /

My birthday is on the tenth of this month.
It is on a day when we perform.

Someone make me a cake.....
Or something....

I buried myself alive, but someone pulled me out, and wiped the dirt off my shoes.

Author: Shexpeare /

You know... I've tried to blog a couple times, and then end up writing, and erasing.. and writing.. and erasing.. and then not blogging at all. I suppose I need to stop doing that.
I'm sad lately. So I SHOULD be blogging. It is a good outlet.
I'm really ready for school to be over. Especially now that it's warm. But at the same time, I know I'll regret not enjoying my childhood. Because once it's gone, it is GONE. There is not going back to being a kid. I'll be on my own.

I realized something the other day.
It was raining, but it felt warm. And I was lonely.
But I had a beautiful thought.
No matter what happens, no matter who I lose, or what I lose- I will always have me. I can always live.

Comedy of Errors is coming along I suppose. I don't really want to talk about that though. Why did I bring it up?

So yeah. Sorry for not blogging and telling you about my life. It's just- well, blogging is beautiful and all. Again with the whole, it's a great outlet. But I have a better comfort.

I have a friend there when I'm sad. Always there.


Author: Shexpeare /

I was feeling very nostalgic today. When I'm thinking about a memory, my mind always feels so... slow. I don't really know how to explain it. All I know is that when I'm thinking of the things that have come and gone I can hear my heart clearly. Everything is slow, and everything in that memory happens in a moment. Again. It happens again. I feel like I know who I am, and how I got here.
I still fear change.
I don't feel the same. And I was always told I would feel this way. But it is different then they all thought. Because they brought me here. They made me who I am. And they helped me to get passed the emotional distress I bring to my own heart. Memories: They hurt, make me smile- all the same.
Goodbye to everyone I know.
You'll be a memory soon. Thank you, I love you, and I'll love you forever, in this moment.

the missing of the not having to grow up so soon! That sentence wasn't really meant to be understood. The syntax is just all messed up....

Author: Shexpeare /

Back to school. Well, I can't say it was too soon, the break was pretty darn long. But it was nice to relax. Okay, only sorta relax. All the shopping and the doobie was quite stressful. The sleeping was nice. The watching of the OC was nice (Who would of thought I would actually like it... who would have freaking thought...)
The end of the term, and The Dining Room are both really soon and I should be a lot more stressed than I am.

I've been really moody lately. (But while I'm being moody don't you dare mention it, it'll set me off like a... a... a.... OOO!! Like chase says, A BAD RASH. That doesn't make sense with what I'm saying. I'll stick with it anyway.)
Things that have been bothering me:
Mr. Crimans spies. They are everywhere. They are probably on this blog right now.. spying.. watching. YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME HANS!!! I'll get you good!! Hans is after me...
More than one mattress on cathys bed. What the crap man? Could she HAVE any more. Stupid jiggly. Sometimes it is like a cool fort, but lately it has just been making me want to poke it. Especially when I lose my phone underneath them. It is CRRRRAAAZZZY!!!!
The fact that I don't own a gun. Not a real gun, but you know, an air soft gun. Like the one that looks like Selenes on Underworld. Sousa has it. It is HOT!! Speaking of, I really want to see Underworld 2. Can't freaking wait. Yuuum.
I asked this kid I like on a date, but now I don't know what to do for the date. Oh dear, if it turns out crappy... AHHH! Well, I'm off to do homework. You all have a good dayo.
I said dayo. I meant dayo. It is meant to sound like "Bingo was his name-o!" ...
"And Bingo had a good day-o!"
Sounds like a good idea. DAYO FOREVER!