it brings us together only for a moment

Author: Shexpeare /

Sometimes a moment settles.
Sometimes it stays, and hovers and stops.
It stops sound.
It stops movement.
And the moment seems much longer than a moment.

But then the moment is gone.

I am here to tell you, we can never met again. Simple really. Isn't it?

Author: Shexpeare /

It is a mad mad world. I really feel like blogging. I have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and I just.. I want it to go away. I'm happy. Really I am. But at the same time, somedays I feel like I'm walking around and doing the things I'm doing for no reason. I don't feel like waking up because I feel I have no purpose. I don't have anything to look forward to. Everything is just another memory to be. Nothing seems real, or worth it. Why do the things I do? And if not those, then what else would I do? Nothing is worth anything. Why wake up?

How have I come to this?
How did I slip and fall?
How did I throw half a lifetime away
Without any thought at all?
This should have been my time
It's over, it never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long and I no longer can
I try to blame it on fortune
Some kind of shift in a star
But I know the truth and it haunts me it's flown just a little too far
I know the truth and it mocks me
I know the truth and it shocks me
It's flown just a little too far.
Why do I want him still?
Why when there's nothing there?
How to go on with the rest of my life
To pretend I don't care

The Banana

Author: Shexpeare /

The Banana.
It isn't like I have anything against it. I just hadn't eaten it in a couple of years. Quite a few actually. We had a falling apart after elementary school. I ate it so much that I suppose I was sick of it. But I never told people I hated bananas because I respected them for what they were, and what they had given me for years. But I just never felt like eating them. Then all of a sudden earlier this week, I randomly feel like a banana. It has been years.... but we talked and I think we are finally okay. I think I am ready to have the banana back in my life, and I think it is ready for asians again.
And I had one this morning too. And- though I'm still a little shaky on how I feel about it. I pretty much enjoyed it.

I'd Be Surprisingly Good For You

Author: Shexpeare /

Okay, so I haven't blogged in what I would consider a while, so I thought I would.
Me and Emily ... weirdly as it is..... had a bad week last week. Like I was picking on her a lot and just being a total bih.
It was... Well it sucked. And it ruined my week. And probably hers. We are okay now though. I love you emily!!!! And I'm sorry I sucked! (You are being an amazing Olivia by the way. I can't wait to see Out Damn Spot!)
Let's see... updates on life.. updates on life.
Rehearsal is going good, I'm impressed by most people, others not so much, but as a whole it is good. I've discovered I can't write because we are doing SAST and also in my creative writing class. I just suck at writing. Yeah, it is pretty stupid that way. Sunday was amazing! I had such a great day. Actually, I've had such a good day today as well. I was just really happy. I hope the rest of this week goes well.
I like happy Sousa by the way. Sousa, ALWAYS be happy. You are SO much fun when you are happy!! I LOVE YOU!!!
I'm worried about presidency a little, mainly just because Melissa is feeling really excluded. We talked a lot about it and we realized there wasn't much we could do about it, because it was other people, and an attitude problem. But I'm glad we talked about it. Oh, by the way...

I miss you Brit. Duh. *Hugs*


Author: Shexpeare /

Everything is going so well. I LOVE LIFE!!! Things I love:
I love today, I love my life. I love this year. I love everything about ... everything pretty much.
I love shakespeare. I love my monologue (though i have no couch). I love the ensemble scene.
I love the musical. I love tick tick tick, and promises you don't intend to keep. I love drama four. I love that we are getting along so well. I LOVE that we are a family.
I love that I spend more time in the drama room than I do at home.
I love that only we understand this weird bond and happiness that has happened to us.
I don't really like that the seniors from last year think we are crazy for doing all this, but that is just because they couldn't possibly understand. Because we are a family.
And it is beautiful.
I love that jamba juice has come into my life. It was always there, but now it is there almost everyday. I love that. Yeah jamba juice.
I love yoga. I love that mette is a part of us. I love that I like new holly. And that she looks like uma thurman. I love that I'm memorized. I love that everyone I know knows celeste SOMEHOW and we can talk about how awesome she is. I love the cast. I love being president. I love the council of doom.
I love that I see cathy often. We have always been great friends, but now I actually SEE her. I love that.
I love that me and kristi still talk.
I love that shmoo is going to teach me how to skateboard. I love that my "artist" life is coming together exactly as I want it. I love that I know at least one person looks up to me. And I love that I look up to them too. I love rule number 34 on the cast rules. I love macbeth. I love hecate! I love trevor. (hahahah).
Things I hate:
I hate that I keep thinking about college. So stressful.
I know that I shouldn't be using the words love and hate so casually. But that is how I feel right now. I feel love for everyone, and I can't explain that happiness with the mere word of LIKE or ENJOY. LOVE!

Cathy did something today that made me so happy! Seriously! And she will never know!
I mean, it was stupid and little, but it totally made my day.
That happens a lot.
People do really little things that make or break my day. I suppose I shouldn't let them break it, but they can make it all they want! I don't know why little things like that matter so much to me. But they always have. I should probably try to grow out of that.
But seriously! Little nice things, who knows! You could make someones day!!!

so let go- just jump in, drink up baby doll

Author: Shexpeare /

I hate thinking about people, and memories, and all things like that. Because it just makes me miss them more. Sure I miss people and things, but I never really feel sorrowful about it until I stop and think about it. I could guess that is why a lot of you don't stop to think about it, and when I mention things you change the subject. I try to avoid it myself. But today feels like summer. So today I miss kristi. Not that I don't miss the rest of you, but today I miss kristi. Sure I miss the naked squishy, and someone who doesn't mind silence, and I miss getting free orange juice because my friend is hot enough to get sonic males to do that! But it isn't that! It isn't those things I miss, today I don't miss the little details.
I miss her. As a whole. As a person.
Blah. Today I feel like she just left. You know, I'm not a baby. Really I'm not. Most days I'm happy and fine. But today that void just seems a little bit bigger for some reason.

Well, I'm going to stop now because I need to stop thinking about it. Because being pensive ALWAYS makes feelings worse.
I'd send the pain below.

it will have blood they say... blood will have blood

Author: Shexpeare /

OH MY GOODNESS! Macbeth is awesome. yeah, the kitty loved it too!!! I'm glad that rolo likes shakespeare. I mean.. .when the out damn spot monologue was up, and lady macbeth was sobbing at that one part- yeah, the cat was totally interested.The show sure, has its problems, but its still BEAUTIFUL! And i love that christy has the subtext of being pregnant and stuff. SO GOOD! OH MY GOSH! I just realized something.

Me and Emily were noticing how christy had these certain mannerisms, and stuff, and we thought they were really cool.

And the first performance, it was always odd ... yet completely right to me that she touched her stomach ...
Like.. she held her stomach.. a lot.
And then she tells us about the subtext of being prego. I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON SHE HAD THAT ISM! nevermind, this show is just awesome. I mean, it has plenty of problems (stage combat, and some of the ensemble) but overall, it just taught me a lot about becoming a different person onstage, and body language and ESPECIALLY about the energy you can show the audience without even saying anything! Like we KNEW hecate was evil and ...
OH ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! I'm glad the kitty liked it. BUT SERIOUSLY! SUBTEXT YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!