i don't feel right

Author: Shexpeare /

Everybody's Changing by Keane
You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking and I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time, try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear, fading into beautiful light
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time, try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

Contents: One Pickle.

my arm is yours to rip and tear as you please

Author: Shexpeare /

ever get hurt so terribly that you stopped trusting
ever get hit so hard that you flinched whenever someone hugged you
betrayed in a way that makes you think everyone is corrupt
lost something and got over it so much, you didn't want it back
opened the biggest gift first, only to be disappointed with the rest
had someone leave in such a rush, that you never said goodbye
anticipated the worst and been right about it
loved someone so much that you almost didn't want them to be happy without you
thought someone loved you a lot, when they only loved you a little
thought someone loved you a lot, when they didn't at all
ever been mocked by the one person whos mocking could hurt you


Some things are sad on levels, when on the surface they don't seem like they should be sad.
You may be hurt if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you trust too little
Or maybe I'll just live in torment
Whichever you prefer
My arm is yours to rip and tear as you please

I was sick. I feel better. Thanks for lunch you honey bunches of oats! (You are my favorite.)
And thanks for the juice box.
(You guys are the funniest.)
Not the jello. Muahaha.

And shmoo.

You are everyones hero.

Just incase you weren't aware of my frolickers....

Author: Shexpeare /

MUAHAHAH! At the beginning of the summer there were none! AND NOW LOOK WHAT WE HAVE DONE! Corrupted you alllll into this. MUAHAHA! MUAAUAHAHAHAHHA!

And I thank chelsey. She is the one who got ME addicted into doing it. And now look at you pathetic foo-- I mean wonderful people.
Just kidding! I love you guys. I'm just slightly bitter about the whole "I'm sad, I will lose heart." And you guys saying "I'm silly, I will lose lung/colon/leg/FAT!" Yeah. Okay I'm not that bitter, it made me laugh so I guess I feel better in the least.... okay now I'm just rabbling.


  • Bob.
  • Shmoo.
  • Hoff.
  • Snoopy.
  • Chelpril.
  • Sousa.
  • Button.
  • Asay.
  • Lamb.

  • i will lose heart.

    the hot song lyrics

    Author: Shexpeare /

    Mmmmmm..... so hot!
    If you read me and shmoos choosen lines, its funny that if you read them right you totally know whats bothering us these days.

    1. You can see right through me.
    2. When I get close you turn away, theres nothing that I can do or say.
    3. Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.Where can you run to escape from this hell?
    4. Todays the day it gets tired, todays the day we drop down.
    5. I know that only god can judge me.
    6. You know I love you so, you know I love you so.
    7. Pull me out from inside, I am ready.
    8. That's exactly, exactly what I need.
    9. And you say take this. This medicine is just what you deserve. Swallow, choke, and die. And this bitter pill is leaving you with such an angry mouth. One that's void of all discretion such an awful tearing sound. With it's measure only equal by the power of my stare glaring over you and over you this feeling of despair is never wearing out.
    (I just couldn't leave it out, SOOO LONG!)
    10. Children waiting for the day they feel good, happy birthday, happy birthday.
    11. Has no one told you she's not breathing? If I smile and don't believe. Don't try to fix me I'm not broken, hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide, don't cry.
    12. There is love to be found, in the worst way.
    13. My reflection offers no apology.
    14. The story's too told to unfold.
    15. Doesn't matter where you've been before I'll love you like this. And she cries.
    16. You're just jealous cuz we are young and in love.
    17. All the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away, and be the one who catches all your tears.
    18. I'd send the pain below, much like suffocating.
    19. I was just guessing, at numbers and figures, pulling your puzzles apart. Questions of science. Do not speak as loud as my heart. Tell me you love me.
    20. Hold on it gets better than you know.

    i think i just lost my best friend

    Author: Shexpeare /

    Posted by Hello

    paint myself in with a wall of blood

    Author: Shexpeare /

    I'm not vindicated. Don't let me slip away.Posted by Hello

    Wanna be a star kid? Take it off!

    Author: Shexpeare /

    Do....do I have to? Posted by Hello

    take away my shotgun

    Author: Shexpeare /

    I always need to feel special. Have privileges of significance. Only significant to someone like me. The quality or state of being important. I have to be my favorite's favorite. My crush's crush and my best friend's best friend.
    And if I don't feel special. I at least need to have purpose. An unwavering firmness of character.
    So it is new and it slices into my determination and persistance when my best friend is everyones best friend.
    Not only do I not feel special, most of the time I feel I don't have purpose. I've been told that it may just appear that way, and that I am needed.
    But I wish I felt needed.
    I am not tired. But one day...it will be the day I get tired. Today is not that day. When it does approach I will feel it, and it will be... a peaceful day? A day for crying. A day to stop writing songs for what you do. A day to quit. Today is not that day.
    I promised myself that today would never be that day.
    There is a duty of firmness.
    There is a requisite purpose.


    in addition to my last post:

    I love you all.

    different people....

    Author: Shexpeare /

    All different people.... same group of friends.

    You are understanding and wonderful.
    You make me laugh, and you make me feel like I'm someone special.
    You.. lift my spirits, and you are my best friend.
    You knock sense into me.
    You :) give really good hugs.
    You are a spaz but you always quiet down to listen.
    You can act like a little butt hole but I know you love me.
    You are so different from me, sometimes it is awkward, but you are my friend anyway.
    You are ugly and you don't like me.
    You are not ugly but slightly stupid.
    You are beautiful.
    You give me rides.
    You are always someone I look forward to seeing.

    You are all my friends.

    Yes, yes that was a stupid post. But can you guess which sentence (or sentences) are about YOU! MUAHAHAH!

    list of the doctor

    Author: Shexpeare /

    1. If you knew how much it hurt you wouldn't care. You wouldn't stop.
    Because people shouldn't have to change how they are for someone else right?

    2. Sometimes I wish you didn't matter so much to me.

    3. I'm being replaced. With everyone and their dog.

    4. I'm so scared of this happening. I'm so scared but so excited. I'm scared to work my hardest, because if I do my best and people say I sucked then I won't ever try again. I can't be open to their attack. If I know I didn't do my best I won't hate myself if I screw up. But I should do my best- shouldn't I?

    5. I'll admit now, I'm "scaming" as you guys call it. Or "falling" as shmoo says. Oh dear, I'm so twitterpated. If only he would make it easy for me. But they never make it easy, do they?

    6. You know how you love a song, but eventually it wears out... this song just doesn't. It only gets better after time.

    7. Do it. You would think those two words were just the funniest thing ever. You.. you... indian man you. :)

    8. Maybe you do need me and I just don't know it. But my boiling... the boiling in my stomach doesn't think you were talking about yourself.


    Author: Shexpeare /


    Read it. Describes exactly how I feel sometimes. It scares me.. the fact that I can be replaced. And it doesn't always have to be The One who replaces me.

    biscuit eff

    Author: Shexpeare /

    Tonight was way fun guys. And I stole the ugly cuff back. (Hoffman, you love me!! :) Err, i hope you do.) Seriously. We need to play more often, even though... we do that a lot.
    I feel slightly bad about the "ditching" and stuff. But I STILL HAD SO MUCH FUN!!!

    Note: I will ... add something funny later. I'm too tired to think about something witty and giggly. ...I'm black.


    Author: Shexpeare /

    More FAT-NASTIC lyrics:
    Silence Must Be Heard by Enigma
    Look into the others eyes, many frustrations
    Read between the lines, no words just vibrations
    Don't ignore hidden desires Pay attention, you're playing with fire
    Silence must be heard, noise should be observed The time has come to learn, that silence ... Silence must be heard
    Or diamonds will burn, friendly cards will turn Cause silence has the right to be heard
    People talk too much for what they have to say Words without a meaning, just fading away Silence must be heard, noise should be observed
    The time has come to learn, that silence ... Silence must be heard
    Or diamonds will burn, friendly cards will turn
    Cause silence has the right to be heard

    NOTE: Enigma always has wonderful lyrics. They are just... beautiful. But one line "The soul belongs to GOD but the body belongs to us." HAHAH The body totally belongs to god. What poo monkeys. Anyhoos, you should check them out. Love their stuff.


    Author: Shexpeare /

    You are watching a superhero in his "final" showdown with the villian. And it comes down to the end, that situation where the villian is hanging on for dear life, and he/she begs for mercy. You know that if it was switched, if the superhero was going to die, and begged for help, the villian would surely kill him/her. And you hate that villian so much, that you're hoping for once, the superhero will just let the villian fall to his/her death. Just this once. But the superhero never does that. The superhero always does the right thing.

    Can you imagine how hard that is? Think of a person you hate. That feeling... if you knew that right after you saved them they were just going to attack you again. They would still be that horrible person you despise, they would still slaughter, kill, and rape. Nothing would change-
    Would you save them?
    Most of us wouldn't.
    Compare that to smaller situations in your own life.
    Doing the right thing, being the superhero-- It hurts. I'm guessing that is why most people choose to be the punisher in situations. You tell yourself you aren't the villian, but you aren't the superhero either.
    So where does that leave us?

    The Flow Jump Dance

    Author: Shexpeare /

    Believe me. It was beautiful.


    Author: Shexpeare /

    I don't like my new blog layout.
    It is stupid.
    Retarded. Yeah you're retarded.
    It is something that should go away and die.
    It is kind of like me.
    That is why, it is perfect.
    I hate it.


    Author: Shexpeare /

    Remember the pillar in the Secret Garden.
    Well, this show doesn't make up for that.
    But it is still good. I enjoyed it. You should go see it.

    I hate when something of a dire induction(hah hah hah) happens, or somewhat of a large event occurs. And you want to know what happened, but people just tell you not to worry, or it wasn't a big deal.
    They could at least tell you "I don't want to talk about it." But no. They just pretend its not there.
    This bothers me.

    NOTE: I'm sure that I do it to people too. How annoying. I also suppose that don't worry about it, and it wasn't a big deal, kind of MEAN I don't want to talk about it. Oh well.

    when everything else is duh, shmoo isn't duh

    maybe tomorrow

    Author: Shexpeare /

    Tasha: Hey wanna hang out?
    "Friend": No.
    Tasha: Why?
    "Friend": Because...I HATE YOU!!!
    Tasha: Oh, okay, maybe tomorrow then.

    dot dot dot

    Author: Shexpeare /

    Tasha: The Love. It flows. All over the freaking place!
    Kristi: I love you too.

    HAHAH! SOOOO FUNNY!! Kristi, you are my favorite. That is just hilarious to me for some reason. I couldn't take it, I fell off my chair. Yes I know, it was on text messaging, but thats WHY its so funny, because I could totally imagine her saying it. BAAAHHAHAHAH! That made my day.

    Don't give me that tone of eyeball. I thought it was funny okay?

    NOTE TO JENESSE: That post wasn't morbid!...Mountain View Theatre 2004-2005! :) DING!
    NOTE TO BRIT: *clears throat* You can understand this one too I hope! :) I LUFF YOU!
    NOTE TO NINA: Thank you for agreeing, I hoped SOMEONE would.
    NOTE TO EVERYONE: I just didn't feel like commenting so.. I blogged my comments instead. Leave me BE I SAY!


    Author: Shexpeare /

    Kristi's blog made me wonder. I played with my slinky and wondered.

    All those moments, when we feel weak, and hurt... are they worth the other moments? The frolicking, laughter... those moments.
    Are they worth it?
    Would it really be better to just be detached.
    We are all friends here, and we... have that power over each other I think. I can't be detached, I always get attached. And I feel hurt a lot. But somehow, it is always worth it.

    I couldn't be detached. I'm sure some of you will disagree, but I think the attachment is worth it. What do you guys think?

    if only i was that much of a superhero

    Author: Shexpeare /

    if only i was that much of a superhero. i wouldn't do this. it hurts. something so small... a pebble in my shoe. i could easily take my shoe off, take the pebble out. i would say i try to do that. but trying is not doing. i don't do that. instead of the simple way out, i cause something bad to happen to justify my hurt. if a pebble hurts me, i go jump off a cliff. to justify my hurt. so i don't feel so stupid about how sad i get when i have a pebble in my shoe.

    It was something that was important to me. Something so special to me for some reason, and when I found out it was just something she shrugged off... It hurt me. How stupid is that? So instead of just being logical, I cause something worse to happen, and I knew it would happen. I cause myself more hurt, so I can justify how much that pebble hurts. Because something so small and stupid shouldn't hurt.
    It shouldn't hurt me that much.
    But that is no fair of me.
    It is not fair of me to do that to someone I love so I can feel justified.
    I am a horrible person.

    Don't tell me I'm not, I know me better than you, and I deserve hell and a marriage to kemp. Damn me.

    if only i was that much of a superhero

    Falling asleep on the phone is a funny experience. And waking up later and still being connected is an even funnier one.
    I auditioned for the musical.
    I'm going to school now. You.. just have a good day. And remember... There are biscuits in my SHOOOOOOOEEEESSS!